The Picture of David Oliver:

Last night, Lander 3 witnessed a metamorphosis from yeti, mountain man, rapist into a clean-shaven, boy-like, rapist... This transformation was David...

I was privileged enough to be able to document this miracle of modern mustaches. Sadly he chose not to keep a mustache in the end. Too bad David, you would have been able to lure more young girls in with one.

The beginning: The 3 month beard in all it's glory
Step 2: the chinstrap



Step 3: Mutton chops with full goatee



Step 4: Weird reverse "landing strip"


Step 5: Horseshoe



Step 6: Handlebar



Step 7: Creepy variation on the Chevron


Step 8: Weirdly flesh-colored porn stache


Step 9: ALL GONE!

Soooo I think my personal favorite was the horseshoe: rather debonair in my opinion.
I think it is the one that if I were about to be raped my this creeper, I would prefer that one... hmmm.

And I must not forget to give props to Kenny for helping with the shaving and model coaching.

I may consider a future career in male hair grooming, it seems I have been doing a lot of it this year. I really don't understand why guys trust me with sharp objects near their faces, bet hey, I'm flattered... I think...

Just for fun... some more pics of the process...

HardXcore

Shaving is a very emotional process, good thing I am ALSO a PTMD (post-traumatic mustache disorder) counselor Please don't try to wink, it makes me feel funny inside, and NOT in the good way...


He's spotted his next victim...


Run away Maddie! Run away!!! Damn, everyone is lured in by irresistible mustaches, enjoy it while it lasts
The creepiest version of the Fonz I have ever laid eyes on... you really should have kept the mustache...

Closing thoughts: Mustaches: Enjoy the ride...

The George:

This mustache needs no explanation, simply that it is worn by monsieur Jorge.
Some would consider this a variation on the Chevron... although George has included the goatee bit as well. Ahhh what a good model.
I just discovered that there is an American Mustache Institute: http://www.americanmustacheinstitute.org/MustacheStyles.aspx
Soooo exciting, do you think they would let me join even though I am incapable of growing one?

The Chevron has an eclectic group of people who don it:
If you are going for a porn stache, Ron Jeremy has a good example of a thinner chevron which really screams, "Who's ready to get naked?!"

Or if you would like to convey your need for speed like Dale Earnhardt, try a fuller stache to show people you really like the wind in your (facial) hair.

Perhaps you enjoy a blast from the past? Or simply a Halloween costume channeling Ron Burgundy or the Reno 911 cops? A retro twist on the chevron is a beautiful example of fine grooming and sexual prowess.

Soooo this blog was going to stray from mustaches but seeing as my blog will not let me put pictures withing the text, it shall be continued soon... next entry: the transformation from yeti man to suave mustache model performed by yours truly. Trust me, you don't want to miss it...

Fu Manchu

ahhhh the beginning of a new addiction I am sure. Speaking of addictions, my most recent one is mustaches. I'm obsessed. I want to be a man just so I can grow a mustache...not the penis, not the eating whatever you want without getting fat, not the lack of the sexual double standard, not the ability to survive on twinkies and steak... but the mere fact that I could grow a mustache one day would be enough. And soooooo I vow to devote each new blog to a certain mustache. And today it is the one featured in my profile picture. Yes, ladies and gents, this is a Fu Manchu, proudly sported by yours truly at 4 in the morning before my C Lit midterm was due. Yes, that is Devin and my style... we pulled an all nighter and during our break we drew on mustaches and left videos for people of us singing Barbie girl and Tim and Eric's Wipe My Butt... classic.
Alright, so here are some fun facts about the infamous Fu Manchu:

-It was named after a fictional character who wore this dashing facial accoutrement and became a stereotype of Asian villains

-It first appeared in the British serial "The Mystery of Doctor Fu Manchu" (now there are few things British I watch besides a smattering of BBC, but this sounds like quality)

-Anton La Vey, the founder of the Church of Satan, wore this stylish facial hair

-Sal Fasano, a Colorado Rockies player, also sports this incomparable accessory

Soooo I hope everyone is just a bit more educated on this fine subject of whiskers and maybe, if you are lucky enough to be a male capable of growing a mustache, or a very hairy woman, then maybe, just maybe, you will be inspired to someday groom your boring facial hair into a glorious FU MANCHUUUUUUUUU!